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NSL Captain Rankings: Kenny Brown Edition

Kenny Brown

by Kenny Brown

Zach comes in at last in the captain rankings, read below to see how the rest stacks up.

#5 - Zach Goldman

The runner up for DPOY will be in California this summer - which is a huge loss for the league. A lot of NSL fans - especially the ladies - will definitely be upset not seeing Zach in his shorts this year. Despite being in Cali, Zach will make a few appearances to Fair Oaks Ave, and knowing Zach, he will be the best-dressed Captain/Coach when he does. Expect female attendance to be higher when Zach pulls up to the court. Regarding the NSL draft, I wouldn't be surprised if Zach traded the house for the chance to select Henri Rousseau - which would be interesting because that pairing has not worked for back to back years now. Also, I have a feeling Zach will end up grabbing Nov Levi and Eric Zhang in the last two rounds. There's no doubt that his leadership will be in question throughout the season, and sources say that some players are worried about playing for Zach due to his shaky leadership skills and lower basketball IQ. Did someone say Ime Udoka 2.0? Anyways, Zach will be well-loved around the league but I just don’t see his team getting out of the first round of the playoffs. I hope he can prove the NSL haters wrong.


#4 - Jack Whalen

One of NSL’s greatest minds, look for Jack Whalen to own the draft, and to run circles around Zach and Aidan when selecting teams. When it comes to coaching there may be many question marks. Jack has the potential to be the next Steve Kerr of the league. Their playstyles and physical traits are identical and their basketball IQ is off the charts. Jack will have at least one superstar on his team (Maybe Soup? Maybe Henri? Potentially Matt?), and will build up the rest of his squad with role players who fit incredibly well. Anyways, hopefully, the ping pong balls fall his way at the draft lottery next week. Jack is beloved by many NSL OGs but has had major off-the-court issues with others. We will see if he can put away his differences to put the best his players in the best position to win. They must have taught him something at BU right? Look for Jack to buy the dip, but the question is who could that dip be? Maybe an Eric Zhang or a Diego. I am worried Jack may lose interest and become M-I-A, and eventually be forced to sell the team.


#3 - Aidan Nugent

The lady's man off the court can steal your girl and can steal the draft. Aidan, known as a strong starter but questionable finisher, is expected to have a strong first half of the draft but a weak second half. I think he will most likely target Matt, or Henri as his 1 (staying away from NSL unknowns like Thomas Byrne and Will Thompson), and an Eli, or Hano as his 2. Look towards the end of the draft for Aidan to draft journeymen - a project player who could help Aidan bring home the chip, or start NSL major drama (fights!). On the court, I see Aidan coaching a great game. He has a smart basketball mind and doesn't overreact to anything. Look for him to have a competitive team that has the ability to win every time they step on the court. We will see if Aidan can use some of the persuasion he uses with the ladies to make a key trade for the playoffs. Yes, I said playoffs, as Aidan will not disappoint and will have his team playing in late June up until the very end.


#2 - Yagev Levi/Jon Hammer

It was an incredibly shocking announcement that one of these captains retired. It wasn't a surprise to see Jon “Glass” Hammer put down his Nike's for the last time, and he will definitely be missed on the court. It was an honor being his teammate last year. However, seeing Mr. Celtic himself call it quits was absolutely shocking. The former DPOY may have had some outside influences pushing him towards retirement. Maybe it was Celtics Organization pushing him towards a full-time ball boy job or maybe it was his beloved girlfriend Mia pulling a bit harder on that leash. Retiring after one of the worst performances in NSL history is definitely an interesting move by Mr. Levi . Yagev could turn around his career as a captain though. His defensive mind and his strong fitness background will have him and his team in the best shape out of the league. Also, two minds are better than one, so this duo should be sitting pretty this season. Look for them to play a good cop bad cop type of coaching style and you know who’s who. Yagev is known as an unreal scouter across leagues circles, evidenced by him picking Tom Rooney late in last year's draft. Due to this, I expect them to nail the draft and many personnel moves throughout the season. This duo will have the Goodfellas in contention for the chip all year.


#1 - Sam Thayer

One of Newton's greatest thinkers, Mr.Thayer is in high demand everywhere for his talents. But, he accepted this position a few weeks back and hasn't looked back since. Expect Sam to have a great draft grabbing a DHS, Henri, or Soup as top dog, but also look for him to get some sneaky second and third round players. If Fantasy Football is any indication, look for Sam to be incredibly active on the trade front - potentially looking into trading a second and third rounder for another first round stud. Look for him to steal Kenny Brown at the end of the draft. Maybe he knows something that the rest of the league doesn't. Anyways, Sam’s team will have the best fan support of all and with a name like the roses, tee shirts will be selling fast out of Fair Oaks Ave. Expect Sam to have the best built team with the right pieces in place to make a legit run. He will have access to all NSL film, and has more pull with the NSL league office than other captains, which both should be big advantages. Finally, I believe Sam will always put his team over himself, unlike other captains.


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